I got a serious frickin' rash on my ass. Not kidding. It's all itchy and burny. Help?
Also, every once in a while it feels like worms are wiggling out of my butt. I wonder if it's just the hairs down there. You know, getting all tangled and knotted up? But I also worry that it's worms. You see, when I was a kid I had worms in my poop. I thought it was kinda cool and told my mom about it. She flippin' flipped. Next thing you know I'm in a doctors office and he's got his finger up my doo doo hole.
I should have just not said anything and had poo poo worms for the rest of my life.