Thursday, September 9, 2010

Dead Lizards In the Doorway

I grew up in a tropical environment. We had all kinds of lizards and geckos running all over the place. In the house, they were a welcome site as they'd eat all kinds of flies and mosquitoes that might be flying around.

There was a trick we'd do. If there's a gecko on the screen of the window, you can flick the screen right next to the gecko and the screen will act as a trampoline/launching pad and the lizard would go flying. Pretty fun stuff. Once, I was outside my sisters room and there was a gecko on the screen inside the room with her. So obviously I flick the screen window and the gecko goes flying into my sisters room, landing on her and causing a ruckus.

Every once in a while you'd find dead geckos smashed in between the door and the door jam. Even worse, every once in a while you'd realize that you were the one squishing the geckos in the door; you'd hear them crunch and perish.

I like geckos and lizards.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Christmas Math

True Story: One year my parents attached math problems to all our presents on Christmas. In order for us to receive our gifts we had to solve the problems. They weren't easy to solve, either.

My mom and dad were howling with laughter as we struggled to get through the work. We were pissed.

At the time we absolutely hated it, of course. But now that I'm older I'm like, "Yes, yes. Of course." Spoiled little American brats getting pissed that we had to do something educationally enriching in order to receive the litany of gifts our parents had worked so hard in order to buy for us.

Spoiled little American brats.

Danger Zone

We had this area in our neighborhood that we called "The Danger Zone". The Danger Zone was a large grouping of rocks that separated two beaches and the water was really rough. The challenge we gave ourselves was to swim from one beach to the other beach without getting killed. My best friend ended up slicing open his leg on the rocks and his parents were pissed. We weren't supposed to swim there and now we weren't allowed to. Lame huh?

Robyn - Dancing On My Own

I love the song by Robyn. It's way more poppier and sappy than I'm used to, but I like it nonetheless.

Breaking News!

I got a serious frickin' rash on my ass. Not kidding. It's all itchy and burny. Help?

Also, every once in a while it feels like worms are wiggling out of my butt. I wonder if it's just the hairs down there. You know, getting all tangled and knotted up? But I also worry that it's worms. You see, when I was a kid I had worms in my poop. I thought it was kinda cool and told my mom about it. She flippin' flipped. Next thing you know I'm in a doctors office and he's got his finger up my doo doo hole.

I should have just not said anything and had poo poo worms for the rest of my life.

Steven Colbert's "Restoring Truthiness Rally"!

I can't believe this might actually happen.

After Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl last month at his rally in DC, this guy on Reddit called out for Colbert to respond with a satirical rally of his own...and it looks like it's actually going to happen.

Check it out:

The Off-Roading Mouse

My best friend who lived down the street always wanted to do the "bad" stuff. Sneak out at night. Ride our bikes around the neighborhood knocking over trashcans, spying on his sister and her friends, etc. We had mice for a school project and he wanted to get crazy.
  1. Charge batteries for RC truck.
  2. Zip-tie a small "cage" to the bed of the RC truck.
  3. Stick mouse in the cage in the back of the RC truck.
  4. Drive the RC truck around the yard.
  5. Make it jump off the deck and crash and roll over the cage with the mouse.